The Blonde at the Emergency Room

A blond goes to the emergency room and shows the doctor her mangled hand where her index finger is dangling by a thread.

The doctor takes a look, and asks “So, what happened here?”

The blond replies “well, I tried to kill myself.”

The doctor is a bit shocked, and asks “so…so you shot your finger off?”

“Oh, no no no,” the blond replies, “So, I decided this morning that I can no longer live laugh love, so I took my gun and put it in my mouth. Before I took the self check out aisle, I thought about how I just spent thousands to get my teeth redone, so I pointed it at my chest. Before I pulled the trigger, I remembered that I just got plastic surgery done, and it would be a waste to ruin my new store-boughts.”

The doctor is looking at the blond with stark confusion. “So, you decided to blow your finger off?”

The blond shook her head and said “No, I decided to put it to my ear, but before I pulled the trigger, I thought ‘this is gonna be loud’ so I plugged my other ear.”