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👨 Dad Jokes

Dad jokes live in that sweet spot between clever and unbearable. You see the pun coming, you know you should resist it, and then it still gets a laugh or at least a groan strong enough to count as a win.

This page is for quick jokes you can remember, repeat, and confidently use on people who did not ask for them.

Impossible to Put Down

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

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Restaurant on the Moon

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

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Fake Spaghetti

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

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Penguin Builds a House

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

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Piano by Ear

I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.

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Outstanding Scarecrow

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

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Days Are Numbered

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

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Lunch Is on Me

What did one plate say to the other? 'Lunch is on me!'

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Nice Belt

What did 0 say to 8? 'Nice belt.'

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Make an Egg Roll

How do you make an egg roll? You push it.

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No Body Nose

What do you call a nose without a body? No body nose.

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Save Time

Why did the man bring his watch to the bank? He wanted to save time.

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Hippo vs Zippo

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.

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Hire a Horse

How do you hire a horse? Stand it on a ladder.

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Fish in a Tank

What did one fish in a tank say to the other fish in the tank? 'Do you know how to drive this thing?'

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