Impossible to Put Down
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
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👨 Dad Jokes
Dad jokes live in that sweet spot between clever and unbearable. You see the pun coming, you know you should resist it, and then it still gets a laugh or at least a groan strong enough to count as a win.
This page is for quick jokes you can remember, repeat, and confidently use on people who did not ask for them.
Restaurant on the Moon
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
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Fake Spaghetti
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
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Penguin Builds a House
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
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Piano by Ear
I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
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Outstanding Scarecrow
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
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Days Are Numbered
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
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Lunch Is on Me
What did one plate say to the other? 'Lunch is on me!'
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Nice Belt
What did 0 say to 8? 'Nice belt.'
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Make an Egg Roll
How do you make an egg roll? You push it.
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No Body Nose
What do you call a nose without a body? No body nose.
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Save Time
Why did the man bring his watch to the bank? He wanted to save time.
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Hippo vs Zippo
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.
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Hire a Horse
How do you hire a horse? Stand it on a ladder.
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Fish in a Tank
What did one fish in a tank say to the other fish in the tank? 'Do you know how to drive this thing?'
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