Seafood Diet
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
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One-liners do not waste time. They arrive, hit, and leave before they can over-explain themselves. That is what makes them great when you want something sharp, memorable, and easy to quote later.
If your favorite kind of joke is the one that fits in a single sentence and still works, this page should feel right.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it said 'No problem โ Iโll crash.'
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
I used to be indecisive, but now Iโm not sure.
Why donโt eggs tell jokes? Theyโd crack each other up.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One โฆ or two?
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice.
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Laundry, washing up, shopping, and unreliable household objects have their say here. This collection looks at the routines that turn a house into a source of comedy. Choose a quick home-life pun for a message or read the household stories during your next break from chores.
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