Seafood Diet
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
⚡ One-Liners
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⚡ One-Liners
One-liners do not waste time. They arrive, hit, and leave before they can over-explain themselves. That is what makes them great when you want something sharp, memorable, and easy to quote later.
If your favorite kind of joke is the one that fits in a single sentence and still works, this page should feel right.
Eyebrow Surprise
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Boomerang Fear
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
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Computer Crash
I told my computer I needed a break, and it said 'No problem — I’ll crash.'
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Fruit Flies Like a Banana
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Flamingo Impersonation
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
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Split Personality
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
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Indecisive Humor
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
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Cracking Egg Jokes
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
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Teach a Man to Fish
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Telemarketer Lightbulb
How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
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Therapist Lightbulb
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
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Optometrist Lightbulb
How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One … or two?
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Shoe Factory Fire
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
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Orange Ran Out of Juice
Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice.
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