Doctor Sturgeon
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy?
A sturgeon.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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🐶 Animal Jokes
Animal jokes are hard to dislike because they are silly in the best way. Whether it is dogs, cats, farm animals, or some poor confused duck in a punchline, these jokes usually land fast and stay easy to share.
This section is great when you want something light, family-friendly, and just a little ridiculous.
Fish Hits a Wall
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall in the river?
“Dam!”
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The Farmer's Rooster Showdown
A farmer buys a young rooster to replace his old one.
The young rooster struts in and says, “All these hens are mine now, old man.”
The old rooster smirks, “Maybe so… but tradition says the new rooster must prove himself. We wrestle, and whoever mounts the other in a compromising way wins. The winner takes the hens.”
The young rooster laughs, “Easy.”
They lock up in the dirt. The old rooster pretends to struggle, then lets the young one flip him and mount him.
Just then the farmer walks out, sees the young rooster on top, shakes his head, raises his shotgun and fires.
“Damn,” he mutters, “that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this year.”
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Elephants Fear the Mouse
Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse.
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Fish With No Eyes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Chicken Joins a Band
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
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Cows at the Moo-vies
Where do cows go for fun?
To the moo-vies.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Shellfish Oysters
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
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Pampered Cow
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Pile of Cats
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
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Count Cows
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Hot Dog in the Shade
Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.
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Cat's Favorite Color
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Salamander in Hollywood
Why did the salamander go to Hollywood?
To make newt movies!
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Healthy Anteaters
Why don’t anteaters ever get sick?
Their anty-bodies keep them healthy.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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