Doctor Sturgeon
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy?
A sturgeon.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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🐶 Animal Jokes
Animal jokes bring dogs, cats, farm animals and wildlife into quick puns and longer comic stories. Browse by animal, or choose a story to tell aloud.
This broader category includes different tones. For younger listeners, start with the Clean Jokes for Family Time collection.
Fish Hits a Wall
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall in the river?
“Dam!”
🐶 Animal Jokes
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The Farmer's Rooster Showdown
A farmer buys a young rooster to replace his old one.
The young rooster struts in and says, “All these hens are mine now, old man.”
The old rooster smirks, “Maybe so… but tradition says the new rooster must prove himself. We wrestle, and whoever mounts the other in a compromising way wins. The winner takes the hens.”
The young rooster laughs, “Easy.”
They lock up in the dirt. The old rooster pretends to struggle, then lets the young one flip him and mount him.
Just then the farmer walks out, sees the young rooster on top, shakes his head, raises his shotgun and fires.
“Damn,” he mutters, “that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this year.”
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Elephants Fear the Mouse
Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Fish With No Eyes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Chicken Joins a Band
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Cows at the Moo-vies
Where do cows go for fun?
To the moo-vies.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Shellfish Oysters
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Pampered Cow
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Pile of Cats
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Count Cows
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Hot Dog in the Shade
Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Cat's Favorite Color
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Salamander in Hollywood
Why did the salamander go to Hollywood?
To make newt movies!
🐶 Animal Jokes
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Healthy Anteaters
Why don’t anteaters ever get sick?
Their anty-bodies keep them healthy.
🐶 Animal Jokes
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More joke collections to explore
Keep browsing curated joke collections and find another set worth reading.
Pet Jokes for Dog and Cat Lovers
Dogs with detective skills, cats with strange hobbies, and pets that behave like their owners: this selection is for people who share their home with animals. Read the quick puns first, then try the longer talking-dog story when you have time for a bigger setup.
Farm Animal Jokes and Puns
Head to the farm for cows at the movies, musical chickens, and a scarecrow with an impressive career. These farmyard jokes mix animal sounds with simple wordplay. They work especially well when told aloud, so give the listener a moment to guess before revealing each punchline.
Fish and Sea Creature Jokes
Dive into jokes about fish, shellfish, sharks, and the other residents of the water. Most of these are short questions with a pun waiting at the end. Try guessing the answer before you read it, or pick a favorite to share with someone who enjoys fishing or aquarium life.
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