Elf Selfie Season
Why do elves take so many photos in December?
They love elfies.
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Christmas Jokes for Holiday Gatherings
Christmas trees, presents, elves, and Santa supply the setups in this holiday selection. The jokes range from quick festive puns to questions about gifts and family traditions. Choose a favorite to tell at a gathering or tuck a short punchline into a holiday message.
18 jokes
What you will find here
Find a festive punchline by subject: Santa and elves, presents, decorations, or Christmas wordplay. The short questions are easy to tell aloud at a gathering or include in a holiday message.
For a Christmas card, try a short question from the elves or decorations sections. The answer can go inside the card.
Some jokes rely on carols, films or idioms. Read the setup once before sharing and choose a reference your listeners will recognize.
Santa and elves
What Do Elves Make Sandwiches With?
What do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread
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How Does Santa Enter So Many Homes?
Why is Santa able to enter so many homes on Christmas Eve?
He has “Probable Claus.”
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Why Does Captain Nemo Get Coal?
Why does Captain Nemo always get coal at Christmas?
Because he’s on the Nautilus.
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Christmas presents
Mariah Carey’s Christmas Gift
Just got Mariah Carey a parcel of undeveloped land as a holiday gift.
But she said, “I don’t want a lot for Christmas.”
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Why Did E Get a Christmas Present?
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
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How Do You Hide a Video Game Before Christmas?
How do you hide a new video game before Christmas?
You put the cartridge in a pear tree.
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Ironman’s Favorite Christmas Present
Ironman’s favorite Christmas present this year were rockets he can fire from his feet.
He calls them missile toes.
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Free Batteries for the Holidays
Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holidays…
Free of charge.
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What Do You Call a Wreath Made of $100 Bills?
What do you call a wreath made of 100$ bills?
Aretha Franklins.
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Trees and decorations
Aisle B Home for Christmas
The Home Depot has all their Christmas decorations in the second row of housewares. In other words…
Aisle B home for Christmas.
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What Are a Christmas Tree’s Favourite Sweets?
What are a Christmas tree’s favourite sweets?
Ornamints!
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What Christmas Trees Do Scientists Prefer?
What type of Christmas trees do scientists prefer?
Chem-is-trees.
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More Christmas wordplay
Snowman Breakfast
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes.
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Who Thinks Christmas Songs Are About Her?
Who thinks all the Christmas songs are about her?
Carol.
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Birthdays on Christmas
People with birthdays falling on Christmas shouldn’t mind that gifts are combined for the holiday…
Jesus sure didn’t.
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What Did Adam Say to Eve Before Christmas?
What did Adam say to Eve the night before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas Eve.”
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Why Was Frosty Inspecting the Carrots?
Why was frosty inspecting the carrots at the grocery store?
He was picking his nose.
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More joke collections to explore
Keep browsing curated joke collections and find another set worth reading.
Halloween Jokes About Monsters and Ghosts
Skeletons, vampires, mummies, and ghosts get their turn at the microphone. These Halloween-themed jokes use spooky characters for puns and surprising everyday problems, with a few darker punchlines in the mix. Pick the right tone for your audience before sharing them at a party.
Science Jokes for Curious Minds
Atoms, physicists, and scientific units are doing the joking here. Some punchlines are easy wordplay; others reward a little background knowledge. Read them as a science break or share one with a lab partner, then explain the reference if your listener has not encountered it before.
Dessert Jokes and Baking Puns
Cookies, doughnuts, pancakes, and pies take the spotlight in this sweet selection. Some jokes play with baking language; others give desserts very human problems. Pick a short one for a bakery caption or read the whole batch while waiting for something to come out of the oven.
Farm Animal Jokes and Puns
Head to the farm for cows at the movies, musical chickens, and a scarecrow with an impressive career. These farmyard jokes mix animal sounds with simple wordplay. They work especially well when told aloud, so give the listener a moment to guess before revealing each punchline.
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