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Funny Animal Jokes

Enjoy funny animal jokes about dogs, cats, fish, cows, penguins, farm animals, pets, and wild punchlines that are easy to read and share.

12 jokes

What you will find here

Funny Animal Jokes brings together jokes that fit the same reading mood, with direct links back to the full joke pages and related categories.

Doctor Sturgeon

What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy?
A sturgeon.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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The Farmer's Rooster Showdown

A farmer buys a young rooster to replace his old one.

The young rooster struts in and says, “All these hens are mine now, old man.”

The old rooster smirks, “Maybe so… but tradition says the new rooster must prove himself. We wrestle, and whoever mounts the other in a compromising way wins. The winner takes the hens.”

The young rooster laughs, “Easy.”

They lock up in the dirt. The old rooster pretends to struggle, then lets the young one flip him and mount him.

Just then the farmer walks out, sees the young rooster on top, shakes his head, raises his shotgun and fires.

“Damn,” he mutters, “that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this year.”

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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Count Cows

How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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Healthy Anteaters

Why don’t anteaters ever get sick?
Their anty-bodies keep them healthy.

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Horse and the Long Face

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'

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🍺 Bar Jokes
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Penguin Builds a House

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

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👨 Dad Jokes
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Salamander in Hollywood

Why did the salamander go to Hollywood?
To make newt movies!

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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Fish With No Eyes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

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Pile of Cats

What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke

Hot Dog in the Shade

Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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Chicken Joins a Band

Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
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Gorillas and Lightbulbs

How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one … but it takes a whole lot of lightbulbs.

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🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke

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