Gorillas and Lightbulbs
How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one … but it takes a whole lot of lightbulbs.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Categories
🐶 Animal Jokes
Animal jokes are hard to dislike because they are silly in the best way. Whether it is dogs, cats, farm animals, or some poor confused duck in a punchline, these jokes usually land fast and stay easy to share.
This section is great when you want something light, family-friendly, and just a little ridiculous.
Bowling Cats
What kind of felines can bowl?
Alley cats.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Sick Puppy
What should you do if your puppy isn't feeling well?
Take him to the dog-tor.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Giraffes Have Long Necks
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because they have stinky feet.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Ad
Thirsty Pony
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because it was a little horse.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Ducks Love Jokes
Why do comedians love telling jokes to ducks?
They always quack up.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Mad Cow Penguin
Two cows were standing in a field.
“Have you heard that mad cow disease is going around?” asked the first.
“Yeah,” the other cow replied.
“Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Snake Walks Into a Bar
A snake walks into a bar, and the bartender asks,
“How?”
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Ad
Ad
Dog Loses His Bike
My dog used to chase people on bikes a lot.
It got so bad that finally I had to take his bike away.
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Dog Patient
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.”
Doctor: “How long have you felt like this?”
Patient: “Since I was a puppy.”
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Talking Dog for Sale
A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." Curious, he walks in and asks the owner, "What’s the story with the dog?"
The owner points to the dog and says, "Go ahead, ask him."
The man looks at the dog and asks, "Can you really talk?"
"Yep," the dog replies.
"So, what’s your story?"
The dog says, "Well, I discovered I could talk when I was young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time, they had me jetting all over the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one would ever suspect a talking dog. I was their most valuable agent for years."
"Then I got tired of the travel and decided to settle down. I started teaching college courses on espionage and linguistics."
The guy is amazed and asks the owner, "Why on earth are you selling him?"
The owner replies, "Because he’s a liar! He hasn’t done any of that."
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Bar Parrot
A man buys a parrot that can talk.
The salesman warns, "This parrot used to live in a bar, so it might use some bad language."
The man takes the parrot home.
The parrot looks around and says, "New bar, new bartender. What’s the special today?"
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Ad
Bear Chase
Two friends are walking through the forest.
Suddenly, a bear appears.
The pessimist says, "We’re doomed!"
The optimist says, "Don’t worry, we can outrun him!"
They both start running.
The pessimist looks back and says, "I just have to run faster than you."
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
DEA Officer vs Bull
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday. “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”
I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back pocket, the officer pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”
I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull! With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he’d get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
So, I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs.
“Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!!”
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Cat Yoga
Why did the cat join a yoga class? To perfect its pawses!
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke
Get one good joke in your inbox
If this page made you smile, let us send you the next one.
Join the Daily Joke newsletter and get a clean, quick joke of the day by email.
Ad