Why Does Snoop Carry an Umbrella?
Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?
Fo' Drizzle.
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👨 Dad Jokes
Dad jokes live in that sweet spot between clever and unbearable. You see the pun coming, you know you should resist it, and then it still gets a laugh or at least a groan strong enough to count as a win.
This page is for quick jokes you can remember, repeat, and confidently use on people who did not ask for them.
Two Soldiers in a Tank
Two soldiers are in a tank, one says to the other "BLURGBLBLURG!"
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Two Peanuts in an Alley
Two peanuts were walking down an alley at night. One was a salted.
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Alligator in a Vest
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.
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Dad's Blindness Warning
Dad says to his son "son if you don't stop masterbating you'll go blind" the son says "dad I'm over here"
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Nuts on a Wall
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts
What are nuts on a chest? Chestnuts
What are nuts on a chin? Blowjob
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Mozart's Ghost
A week after Mozart died, his ghost was discovered trying to erase his music. When asked why, it said "I'm decomposing."
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Mugged by a Coffee Cup
If someone hits you over the head with a coffee cup, have you been mugged?
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Popular Graveyard
Did you know the graveyard is the most popular place in town? People are dying to get in.
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Two C Batteries
When I went to the battery store
I said "I need two C Batteries".
The person just gestured to a shelf and said "Here just look at them".
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Sock Drawer Economy
I do not lose socks. I run a one-sock subscription service.
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Shovel Motivation
My shovel is inspiring. It really knows how to dig deep.
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Battery Therapy Session
My batteries started therapy. They felt drained.
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Battery for the Time
I said to my son, "I need a battery so I can tell the time." He asked, "Is it for a clock?" I answered...
"I don't know! That's why I need the battery!"
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Riding a Dolphin
My wife caught me riding a dolphin. I said it was accidental…
…but she swears it was on porpoise.
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