Chuck Norris and Death
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago
it just took Death until today to build up the courage to tell him.
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👨 Dad Jokes
Dad jokes live in that sweet spot between clever and unbearable. You see the pun coming, you know you should resist it, and then it still gets a laugh or at least a groan strong enough to count as a win.
This page is for quick jokes you can remember, repeat, and confidently use on people who did not ask for them.
I Saudi Arabia
I visited Mecca, Medina & Riyadh, guess what I saw?
I Saudi Arabia.
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Backwards Stereo Types
Asked my son what he learned in school today. He said “Gay men like ynoS. Lesbians favour ahamaY, and transgender people prefer esoB.
I knelt down and put my hand on his shoulder and said “Son, those are just backwards stereo types.”
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Why Were There Scissors in the Freezer?
My wife was preparing chicken for the freezer and accidentally left the kitchen scissors inside.
Later, our son opened the freezer and shouted, "Why would anyone put scissors in here?"
I told him, "Obviously, someone wanted cold cuts."
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My Date Asked What Working on Oil Rigs Is Like
I was having dinner with a woman when I mentioned that I work on oil rigs.
"Wow!" she said. "What's that like?"
"It's mostly boring."
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My Son Couldn't Find the Camouflage Pants
My son was preparing for his first overnight hunting trip, so we went shopping for camping equipment.
We bought a tent, a sleeping bag, boots, and almost everything else he needed.
Then he said, "Dad, I can't find the camouflage pants."
I pointed toward the clothing section.
"They're right over there."
"Where?"
"Right there, son!"
He looked confused.
"I don't see anything."
I was about to lose my patience when I suddenly realized something.
I'd raised my son perfectly.
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The Bald Salesman at Our Front Door
Someone knocked on our front door.
My wife answered it and shouted upstairs:
"Honey! There's a salesman here with a bald head!"
I shouted back:
"Tell him I've already got one!"
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Why Were There Scissors in the Freezer?
My wife was organizing packages of chicken for the freezer and accidentally left a pair of scissors inside.
Later, our son opened the freezer and shouted, "Dad! Why on earth are there scissors in here?"
I looked over and replied, "Someone must have wanted some cold cuts."
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Buying Brake Pads at the Auto Parts Store
I walked into an auto parts store and asked the employee for some brake pads.
He opened his computer and asked, "Sure. What are they for?"
I replied, "They're for stopping the car."
He didn't seem impressed.
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