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Geek jokes are best when they feel like a reward for knowing just enough about tech, math, science, or internet culture to catch the punchline. They are the kind of jokes that make one person laugh immediately and another person ask for an explanation.
If you enjoy smart little references and jokes that feel tailored to curious people, this section has the right energy.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting while Newton and Pascal run and hide. Pascal hides behind a curtain.
Newton stops and draws a 1-metre by 1-metre square on the ground and stands in the middle. Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes and turns around, "Ha! Found you, Newton!"
Newton calmly replies, "Nope, you found Pascal!"
I asked my barista for a quantum coffee. He handed me two cups—one was hot, one was cold, and neither had a clear state until I drank it.
I bought a smart kettle. It won't boil until I accept cookies.
Finally, a device that understands tea.
Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar…
It was tense.
My friend got a tattoo of his favorite Star Wars character on his cheek.
You should have seen the Luke on his face.
During dinner, my date mentioned that she was a microbiologist.
I looked at her suspiciously.
"Nice try. You look like a perfectly normal-sized biologist to me."
How can you tell a chemist and a plumber apart?
Ask them both to pronounce the word "unionized."
The chemist reads it as "un-ionized."
The plumber reads it as "union-ized."
Why did Indiana Jones never get to meet his favorite rock band?
Because every time he encountered the Rolling Stones, he ran for his life.
Clark Kent and a cannibal walk into a restaurant.
The waiter asks, "Soup or man?"
What do astronauts do when they make a mistake?
They Apollo-gize.
I was having dinner with a woman I'd recently met.
Trying to get to know her better, I asked what she did for a living.
"I'm a microbiologist," she replied.
I looked her up and down.
"Nice try. You look like a perfectly normal-sized biologist to me."
I'm selling my DeLorean.
It's in excellent condition, has incredibly low mileage, and comes with a fascinating driving history.
I've only driven it from time to time.
Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because oct(31) == dec(25)!
Two math functions are buying a house.
At closing, the realtor asks them to sine and cosine!
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