The Florist Who Only Dates Women Named After Flowers
A young woman visits a florist to buy her mother a bouquet.
As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks its price.
"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. It's a gift from a fellow florist. I hooked him up with a woman who came in here yesterday, and he sent it as a thank you."
"Yesterday?!" she gasps. "How did they hit it off so quickly?"
"Well, he's quite handsome and very respectful. And, rumor has it," he says, leaning into a whisper, "he's got a *10-inch cock!*"
She blushes. "Sounds like a catch! Where can I find him?"
"He's just a block over. But be warned...he's also a little...strange. He's only interested in women named after flowers. So if I ever meet a woman with a flowery name, I send her his way.
"Then he sends me the most perfect matching flower in his collection. Yesterday was Rose. A week ago, it was Violet," he says, indicating a slightly wilted violet in a vase behind him.
The woman thanks him and leaves, heading straight for the other florist's shop. "I heard that you are particularly...*skilled*... in certain areas?"
He smirks. "So I've been told. And who might you be?"
She grins. "I was referred by your friend down the street. Maybe you can...assist me?"
"Perhaps...if you could you tell me your name?"
She considers fabricating an alias, but quickly decides she's attractive enough that he'll make an exception.
"Kristen. But everyone calls me Kris."
His smile falters.
Her heart drops, knowing she's blown her chance. "Well then...if it's not too much trouble, I'd like some flowers for my mother."
"Of course, what kind--" Suddenly, he brightens up again. Without another word, he locks the shop door, swoops upon her, and takes her into his arms.
Three hours of mind-blowing sex later, he bids her goodbye with a kiss.
"Tell your mother to visit my shop later today," he whispers in her ear, "and I'll prepare the most beautiful arrangement for her, free of charge." Flushed with ecstasy, she promises to convey the message.
The next day, Kris stops by the original florist's shop.
"I just wanted to thank you for telling me about your friend! He was absolutely incredible!"
He smiles sheepishly. "I suppose I should thank you too. He just dropped off the most stunning flower I've ever received."
"Really? What flower could he have possibly....?"
The florist sighs. "Chrysanthemum."
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