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Gorilla Rescue

A man sees a gorilla in his tree. Animal control comes with ladder, pit bull, and shotgun. The shotgun is explained: "Oh, that’s for you in case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla."

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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A man takes 10 penguins from a broken truck to the zoo. Later, he takes them to a movie instead. Truck driver asks: "Weren’t you supposed to take them to the zoo?" Man: "I did, and then had extra money so I took them to see a movie."

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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Clarence the Parrot

A burglar hears "Jesus is watching you" in a house. He finds a parrot: "Was it you?" Parrot: "Yes." Burglar: "What’s your name?" Parrot: "Clarence." Burglar: "Who named you that?" Parrot: "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesus."

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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Lion Turns Christian

Two guys are chased by a starving lion. One prays: "Turn this lion into a Christian." They look back and see the lion kneeling, praying: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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Cows with Names

There are five cows on a farm, one mama cow and four baby calves. The first three ask about their names: Rose, Lily, Daisy. The last baby says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" Mama cow: "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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Frog Car Trouble

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

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🐶 Animal Jokes

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Parents Disagree on Origins

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" Father: "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies." Child asked mother: "How were people born?" Mother: "We were monkeys then evolved." Child: "You lied to me!" Father: "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

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🧒 Kids Jokes

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