Physicist Crosses the Road
Why did the physicist cross the road? To measure the chicken’s momentum.
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Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
10 Types of People
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
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It Hurts When IP
What did the router say to the doctor? It hurts when IP.
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Java Developers Wear Glasses
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#.
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Grandpa Timeline Mix-Up
“Son, I found a condom in your room.”
“Hey, thanks, Grandpa!”
“Why are you calling me Grandpa?”
“Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”
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What Year?
“I’d like a bottle of wine,” a woman told her waiter. “What year, ma’am?” the waiter replied. She huffed and said, “Well, I’d like it right now.”
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Changed My Mind
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
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Lobster Tale
A man dining at a seafood restaurant asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time, there was this lobster …”
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Fallen Arches
“My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches,” said a man to his friend. “He’s an athlete?” the friend asked. The man shook his head and replied, “An architect.”
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Whose Mother?
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” Helen’s brow furrowed, and she replied, “I thought she was your mother.”
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Fourth Time for Ice Cream
At a party, a woman admonished her husband, saying, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” He shrugged and answered, “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.”
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Left Side Amputated
Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now.
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Fish in a Tank
What did one fish in a tank say to the other fish in the tank? 'Do you know how to drive this thing?'
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Hire a Horse
How do you hire a horse? Stand it on a ladder.
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Hippo vs Zippo
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.
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