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18+ content

The Priest's Clever Customs Declaration (NSFW)

A young woman is flying home from Ireland when she notices a priest sitting beside her.

"Father, could you do me a favor?"

"Of course, my child."

"I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother, but it's over the customs allowance. Could you hide it under your robes?"

The priest agrees but warns her:

"I must tell you, I never lie."

"I'm sure you'll manage, Father."

At customs, an officer asks the priest if he has anything to declare.

"From my head to my waist, absolutely nothing," the priest replies.

The officer looks suspicious.

"And from your waist down?"

The priest smiles.

"I have a magnificent instrument designed for use on a woman, but I must confess that it has never been used."

The officer bursts out laughing.

"Very good, Father! You may proceed!"

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My Son Couldn't Find the Camouflage Pants

My son was preparing for his first overnight hunting trip, so we went shopping for camping equipment.

We bought a tent, a sleeping bag, boots, and almost everything else he needed.

Then he said, "Dad, I can't find the camouflage pants."

I pointed toward the clothing section.

"They're right over there."

"Where?"

"Right there, son!"

He looked confused.

"I don't see anything."

I was about to lose my patience when I suddenly realized something.

I'd raised my son perfectly.

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18+ content

The Marriage Counselor's Unusual Bedroom Advice (NSFW)

A married couple visits a marriage counselor after thirty years together.

Their problem? The wife has never experienced an orgasm.

The counselor thinks for a moment.

"I have an idea. Hire a handsome young man from the gym to run around your bedroom waving a towel while you make love. The movement might help."

They hire a muscular young man, but the experiment fails.

The following week, the counselor suggests reversing their roles.

"This time, let the young man make love to your wife while you wave the towel."

They try it.

Within minutes, the wife experiences the most incredible orgasm of her life.

The husband stops waving the towel, turns triumphantly to the young man, and says:

"See, you idiot? THAT'S how you wave a towel!"

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The Hunter, the Priest, and God's Terrible Aim

A hunter and a priest go hunting together.

The hunter spots a rabbit, takes aim, and fires.

He misses.

"Goddammit, I missed!" he shouts.

A few minutes later, he sees another rabbit. He shoots and misses again.

"Goddammit, I missed!"

The priest looks annoyed.

"My son, if you keep taking the Lord's name in vain, God will punish you."

The hunter apologizes.

Soon, another rabbit appears. The hunter aims carefully, pulls the trigger, and misses for the third time.

"GODDAMMIT, I MISSED!"

Suddenly, a massive bolt of lightning shoots down from the sky and strikes the priest dead.

A deep voice echoes from the heavens:

"Goddammit, I missed!"

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The Shaolin Master's Unexpected Wisdom

A frustrated young Shaolin monk approaches his master.

"Master, I've been training for years, but my skills aren't improving. How can I become as good as you?"

The master looks at him thoughtfully.

"Have you ever watched ants working tirelessly to build something that can be destroyed in an instant?"

"Yes, Master. Many times."

"Have you observed how bamboo bends in the strongest winds without breaking?"

"Of course, Master."

"And have you contemplated the reflection of the full moon in perfectly still water?"

"Yes, Master! Many times!"

The master nods.

"Well, there's your problem. You keep looking at stupid shit instead of practicing."

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The Most Responsible Employee at a Job Interview

During a job interview, the hiring manager asks:

'What single word would your former coworkers use to describe you?'

'Responsible,' the applicant answers confidently.

'Excellent! Can you explain why?'

'Sure! Whenever anything went wrong at my last job, everyone said I was responsible!'

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18+ content

The Neighbor Who Forgot to Close His Curtains (NSFW)

Two neighbors are chatting over their backyard fence.

One says, 'You idiot! You forgot to close your curtains last night. My brother and I could see you having sex with your wife!'

The other neighbor bursts out laughing.

'Ha! Joke's on you! I wasn't even home last night!'

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Why I Had to Hide From My Wife at a Restaurant

I was having lunch with a female coworker when my wife unexpectedly entered the restaurant.

'Oh no! That's my wife! I need to hide!' I whispered.

My coworker looked confused.

'Why would your wife be upset about you having lunch with a colleague?'

'It's not that,' I explained.

'She thinks I've been dead since 2018.'

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18+ content

The Doctor's Unusual Breast Enlargement Treatment (NSFW)

A woman asks her doctor about breast enlargement but decides surgery is too expensive and risky.

The doctor suggests an unusual alternative.

'Every morning, massage your breasts while repeating: Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, I want my breasts to grow, grow, grow.'

She tries it for several weeks and, amazingly, it works.

One morning, she's running late and forgets her daily routine.

While riding the bus, she quietly begins the exercise.

A man sitting nearby notices and asks, 'Excuse me, are you a patient of Dr. Smith?'

Embarrassed, she asks, 'How could you possibly know?'

The man smiles.

'Hickory dickory dock...'

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The Golfer Who Refused to Abandon His Game

A man tells his wife, "I'm going golfing with the boys. I should be home by 4 PM."

But 4 PM comes and goes. He finally walks through the door at 8 PM.

His wife asks, "What took you so long?"

"We were on the sixth hole when Fred suddenly had a heart attack and collapsed," he explains.

"Oh, that's terrible! Were you at the hospital all afternoon?"

"Well, no," says her husband. "But from the sixth hole onward, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred..."

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