Flowers for the Holidays
Wife called husband and said, “Three of the girls in my office just got some flowers for the holidays. They’re absolutely gorgeous!”
Husband replied, “That’s probably why they got flowers then…”
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Why Did E Get a Christmas Present?
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
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Mariah Carey’s Christmas Gift
Just got Mariah Carey a parcel of undeveloped land as a holiday gift.
But she said, “I don’t want a lot for Christmas.”
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Emotional Baggage Is the Worst
Having to tell your suitcase there are no holidays or vacations this year is hard, especially when you see how upset your suitcase gets.
Emotional baggage is the worst.
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Why Did the Holiday Suitcase Feel Confident?
**Why did the holiday suitcase feel confident?**
Because it was packed with experience.
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What’s Hannibal Lecter’s Favorite Dessert?
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite dessert? A Danish.
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What Dessert Comes Out of a Musical Volcano?
What kind of dessert comes out of a musical volcano? Bach lava.
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What Did the French Dessert Say as It Was Leaving?
What did the French dessert say as it was leaving? Bonbon voyage.
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Why Did the Cookie Cry?
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
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Why Didn’t the Donut Get Hired as a Police Officer?
Why didn’t the donut get hired as a police officer? He had a hole in his record.
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Why Did the Cookie Go to the Hospital?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crumby!
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What Kind of Dessert Is Always Late?
What kind of dessert is always late? Choco-late!
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What Do You Call a Dessert That Knows More Than You?
What do you call a dessert that knows more than you do? A smart cookie!
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How Did Gordon Ramsay Lose 100 Pounds?
How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month? He started a swear jar.
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What Did the Sushi Say to the Bee?
What did the sushi say to the bee? “Wasabi!”
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