Cruise Ship Waitstaff During the Holidays
During the holidays, let’s take a moment to think about the waitstaff on cruise ships..
Never forget these uniformed men and women, serving over seas.
- Daily Joke
Joke library
All Jokes
883 jokes and counting
Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
Birthdays on Christmas
People with birthdays falling on Christmas shouldn’t mind that gifts are combined for the holiday…
Jesus sure didn’t.
- Daily Joke
How Do You Pronounce Albuquerque?
A husband and wife on a holiday were driving through New Mexico.
As they approached Albuquerque, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name of the city. The husband thought it was pronounced like Albu-que-que, while the wife thought it was pronounced like Albu-kway-kway. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband said to the restaurant worker, “Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Can you please pronounce the name of the place we’re in?”
She leaned over the counter and said, “Burger King.”
- Daily Joke
What Are a Christmas Tree’s Favourite Sweets?
What are a Christmas tree’s favourite sweets?
Ornamints!
- Daily Joke
The First Holiday Dedicated to Clowns
Just one day ago, we celebrated the first ever holiday dedicated to clowns.
It was jesterday.
- Daily Joke
Why Don’t Therapists Go on Holidays?
Why don’t therapists go on holidays?
It’s a lot to unpack.
- Daily Joke
Engineering Students Build a Plane
A group of engineering students and their teacher were given free airplane tickets to go on a holiday.
Once on the plane, the captain announced that they were on the plane that the students had built. Everyone freaked and rushed out of the plane, except for the teacher who stayed there calmly. When the flight attendant asked why he hadn’t left, he responded, “I know the abilities of my students. This box won’t even start”.
- Daily Joke
A Woman Who Won’t Stop Singing Christmas Songs
What do you call a woman who won’t stop singing Christmas songs?
Carolyn.
- Daily Joke
What Is Grey and Has a Trunk?
What is grey and has a trunk?
A squirrel going on holiday.
- Daily Joke
Why Did the Grinch Go to the Liquor Store?
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was searching for some holiday spirit.
- Daily Joke
Don’t Drink and Drive This Holiday Season
To all my friends this holiday season, if you’re going to be drinking, please don’t drive.
The other night at a party, I got a little tipsy, so I left the car behind and took the bus home. It was great because, along the way, while cars were being stopped for breathalyzers, the police just waved the bus right through, and I was able to get home. In the end, I had no idea I could drive a bus, but I did a pretty good job.
- Daily Joke
What’s Christmas?
What’s Christmas?
It is the present holiday.
- Daily Joke
Aisle B Home for Christmas
The Home Depot has all their Christmas decorations in the second row of housewares. In other words…
Aisle B home for Christmas.
- Daily Joke
What Do You Call Two Spices Saying Hello?
What do you call two spices saying hello to each other during the holidays?
Seasons greetings.
- Daily Joke
Stranded on an Island With Unpaid Bills
An elderly couple was flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Honey, did we pay the car bill this month?”
“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?”
“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.
“One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?”
The husband answers, “They’ll find us!”
- Daily Joke
Get one good joke in your inbox
If this page made you smile, let us send you the next one.
Join the Daily Joke newsletter and get a clean, quick joke of the day by email.