Seafood Diet
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- Daily Joke
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Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
Vasectomy Consultation Surprise Joke
At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, "Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!"
Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed.
- Daily Joke
Dermatologist Rash Decisions Joke
A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.
- Daily Joke
Paranoia Book Library Joke
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They’re right behind you."
- Daily Joke
Coffee Spoon Eye Pain Joke
A patient goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, every time I drink coffee, I get a sharp pain in my eye."
The doctor says, "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?"
- Daily Joke
Good News Bad News Doctor Joke
Doctor: “Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?”
Patient: “Give me the good news.”
Doctor: “You’re about to have a disease named after you.”
- Daily Joke
Everyone Hates Me Doctor Joke
Patient: “Doctor, everyone hates me.”
Doctor: “Don’t be ridiculous. Not everyone has met you.”
- Daily Joke
Ringing in My Ear Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ear.”
Doctor: “Then whatever you do, don’t answer it.”
- Daily Joke
Broken Arm in Two Places Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I broke my arm in two places.”
Doctor: “Stop going to those places.”
- Daily Joke
I Think I Need Glasses Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I think I need glasses.”
Teller: “You certainly do! This is a bank.”
- Daily Joke
Birthday Cake Heartburn Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
- Daily Joke
Twitter Addiction Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I’m addicted to Twitter.
Doctor: Sorry, I don’t follow you.
- Daily Joke
Pair-a-medics Doctor Joke
What do you call two doctors? Pair-a-medics.
- Daily Joke
Man Who Has Everything Joke
What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin.
- Daily Joke
Doris Locked Knock Knock Joke
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked. That’s why I’m knocking!
- Daily Joke
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