Lunch Is on Me
What did one plate say to the other? 'Lunch is on me!'
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Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
Days Are Numbered
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
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Outstanding Scarecrow
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
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Piano by Ear
I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
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Penguin Builds a House
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
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Fake Spaghetti
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
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Restaurant on the Moon
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
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Impossible to Put Down
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
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Jumper Cables Warning
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, 'You can stay, but don’t start anything.'
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Excellent Reception
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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Big Pause
A bear walks into a bar and says: 'Can I have a... Coke?' The bartender asks, 'What's with the big pause?' The bear replies, 'I don't know. I was born with them.'
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Roman Orders Five Beers
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."
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That's Going to Leave a Mark
A man walks into a bar and says, "That’s going to leave a mark."
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One for the Road
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, 'A beer please, and one for the road.'
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Skeleton's Order
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
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