Napoleon and the Coat
Napoleon may not have designed his coat,
But he sure had a hand in it.
- Daily Joke
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Julius Caesar Orders a Drink
Julius Caesar walks into a bar.
“I’ll have a martinus,” he says.
The bartender asks, “You mean martini?”
Caesar replies, “If I wanted a double, I’d have said so.”
- Daily Joke
Tired Medieval Knight
Why was the medieval knight always tired?
Too much chivalry kept him up all night.
- Daily Joke
Ancient Egyptians and Free Speech
Ancient Egyptians didn’t believe in free speech.
Everything was written in cursive.
- Daily Joke
Historian Breaks Up with the Calendar
Why did the historian break up with the calendar?
Too many dates.
- Daily Joke
What Jet Lag Really Means
Jet lag is just your body’s way of saying,
“You shouldn’t have left the couch.”
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Travel Dreams vs Reality
I love to travel, but my wallet is strictly a homebody.
- Daily Joke
Breaking Up With GPS
I finally told my GPS I needed some space.
Now we’re not on the same route anymore.
- Daily Joke
Why Maps Always Lose at Poker
Why don’t maps ever win at poker?
They always fold.
- Daily Joke
The Suitcase With Emotional Baggage
I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation this year.
Now it’s dealing with emotional baggage.
- Daily Joke
Learn from Dad's Mistakes
My dad always wanted us to learn from his mistakes…
So he started having kids.
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Family Is Like Fudge
Family is like fudge — mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
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You Can Be Anything
My mom said, “You can be anything you want!”
So I became a disappointment.
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Flamingo Impression
My family told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
- Daily Joke
Peace and Quiet While Cooking
I told my kids I wanted a little peace and quiet while I cooked dinner.
So they took the batteries out of the smoke detector.
- Daily Joke
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